Invisible

Watching me. Did I see those eyes,
holding deep in bitter iris, the word
‘ yes,’ as if they promised something
I did not deserve, forming only to

mock, as if betrayal were a badge
I wore, unseen only by me, marker
made invisible by denial; disguised
tattoo, carved, curled, stabbed ink

into flesh, waiting, desperate, for
a sign, a symbol that I existed,
even if only in the arms of pain,
even if only in shallow hurting;

slicing flesh as I had done myself,
so many times, nicking and then
cutting deep through bursting blood
and patient flesh, searching down,

down, down, hoping to find in
the roil of bleeding, a surge of
life which would tell me I was
real – made manifest in and of

material being, formed solid so
a hand could touch, hold and
know truth of Self, surely enough
for heart to whisper: ‘This is me.’

And yet, in those times of sullen
sleep, those dark days and bright
nights, where all blurs in deadly
weeping, the voice calls ever

louder, that the heart too can lie,
that nothing can be believed in
any certain way; that I am only
real when I am watching me.

In that certain gaze I can no
longer be, invisible, and so I
dare not blink, for in that act
I would no longer exist…..

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Questioning vaccination

I have been asked more than once by new parents who know of my interest in vaccination, for my thoughts and have put something together which might be useful for others who have questions.

First and foremost, do not let anyone talk you into vaccinating or talk you into not vaccinating.

This is a decision you must make for yourself, based on what you believe is in the best interests of your child. Your child is unique and you will sense from the moment they are born, what is right for them. They deserve better than a decision sourced in fear, whether that decision is for or against vaccines.

Do the research, across the spectrum, apply common sense and whatever decision you make, and whatever outcomes there may be, know that you can tell your child you thought carefully about this and made an informed decision with only their welfare at heart.

Asking questions matters even more because in the vaccine age we have rates of serious and chronic disease in children in ways never seen before. Less Measles, for the moment anyway, and more Brain Cancer. Diabetes at astronomical levels, Allergies, Asthma, Auto-Immune Diseases, Coeliac Disease and growing rates of Arthritis in toddlers and heart disease in young people.

Whatever modern medicine has achieved in the max-vax age, it is not better health or less disease.

The reality is that unless we have a Thalidomide ‘moment’ involving vaccines, we are not going to halt the onslaught which has risen from a couple at older ages in the early Seventies, to more than fifty in the first five years of life, nudging around 70 if a child is vaccinated according to schedule, by the time they are 18.

If that does not make sense, and increasingly it does not to many people, then what we have to do as a society is ensure that vaccines are safe, and we are not there yet, and that people can decide for themselves if they have them, and, if they choose to be vaccinated, how many they have, when and in what form, i.e. single not multiple.

Research across the spectrum gets harder and harder because most people look for information online and increasingly the system is set up to provide pro-vaccination information and to hide anything which questions vaccine theory or process. So, it will take time but the information is out there.

I think the most important question is: Do you believe vaccines are necessary? Yes, I know the Government, much of science and most of medicine think they are necessary but do you believe that without them tens of thousands of children would die, in ways of course, they did not in the times before vaccination.

I don’t. In fact I had a GP tell me when I refused his dozen vaccines before heading to Malawi, where, at the time I had to have Yellow Fever to get into the country, that at my age, without them I would probably die. I ignored him and clearly did not die as predicted.Neither did I get sick.

The next question is: Do you think that vaccines are properly studied and we know enough about how the body works to ascertain their safety? I don’t, and more so because in this day and age most medical research cannot be trusted anyway. Editors of both The Lancet and The New England Journal of Medicine have said the same.

Without a reliable science-medical system it is even more important for the public to do its own research and be as informed as possible. What the doctors and scientists say, simply cannot be trusted, and never more so than on the topic of vaccines.

https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.0020124

Indeed, when vaccine theory and methodology were invented it was not known that the brain and immune system were connected physically via lymphatics. It was not even imagined. This discovery was made about two years ago and at the time, experts proclaimed that, ‘the textbooks would have to be rewritten.’

But not it seems the vaccine textbooks which does not make sense to me. There may well be rigorous research going on as I write but I have not yet heard of it. And surely common sense decrees, given that we are now injecting in utero, before babies are fully formed, and then within hours of birth, that we need to know what manipulating the immune system, as vaccines are designed to do, might in turn do to the brain through that physical lymphatic connection.

https://news.virginia.edu/illimitable/discovery/theyll-have-rewrite-textbooks

But you must make up your own minds and do what you believe is best. What I think or what someone else thinks does not matter. What you think matters.

This is worth watching.
http://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Informed-Choice/vaccination.html

Judy Wilyman is a valuable source.

http://vaccinationdecisions.net/

https://avn.org.au/

Questions to research and consider in light of the following:

1. Until the late Sixties vaccination was rare and generally at older ages. In the early Seventies when I had children it was a couple at much older ages. I did not bother with them much but had not done the research at that time and had more trust in doctors. Also, vaccines were not as experimental.

2. My generation was not vaccinated and we had all the minor childhood diseases with no problems. I know no-one who died or even went to hospital. My children had some of them and likewise no problems.

3. We have gone from 2-3 vaccinations at older ages in the early Seventies to more than 50 (recommended) in the first five years of a child’s life, ramping up to 70 in childhood if regulations are followed, before the age of fourteen which is when it is believed the immune system reaches maturity.

Children were not dying by the thousands before the max-vax age. In fact, records show that incidence diminished where living conditions were improved and mortality plummeted and was flatlining for decades before vaccines.

Negative statistics for the so-called vaccine-preventable diseases, are inflated by Third World data. In other words, poor hygiene, sanitation and nutrition in the less developed world makes diseases more common and more deadly. Just as they once did in the Western world, before living conditions were significantly improved.

The minor childhood diseases, for which children are now vaccinated, were in decline in terms of incidence and had plummeted in terms of mortality, long before vaccines.

For example:
By the time the vaccine was patented in 1963 in the US, the mortality rate from measles was about 1 in 500,000, which interestingly, was less than the risk of death from falling off furniture.

4. In other words, these minor childhood diseases were considered by doctors to be minor before the vaccination age. There is new research showing that having them in childhood protects in adulthood against Cancer, Heart Disease and Stroke, which is hardly surprising from an evolutionary perspective. Indeed, the protective factor of Chicken Pox against Brain Cancer, now the top Cancer killer of children and young people, in ways never seen before, has them planning a Brain Cancer vaccine using the Chicken Pox virus.

http://vaxinfostarthere.com/childhood-infectious-diseases-protect-us-cancers-later-life/

5. Vaccination bypasses the first lines of immune defence in ways impossible in nature and for which no human has ever evolved. No disease has ever before been injected into a human body in this way for quick uptake by the bloodstream. And no human ever ‘contracted’ half a dozen diseases at the same time. Multiple vaccines or vaccination are ‘telling’ the body it is threatened by something impossible in nature – in the case of the MMR, Measles, Mumps, Rubella all at once.

Has a child in human history ever had his or her immune system confronted by Measles, Mumps and Rubella at exactly the same moment? Highly unlikely, but that is what the MMR vaccine presents to the immune system. Or rather, pretends to present to the immune system for it is all trickery.

https://thevaccinereaction.org/2016/11/the-immune-system-the-bodys-battlefield/

6. Vaccines are designed to trick and confuse the immune system into reacting to a non-threat. The Adjuvant is a poison, which has the task of ‘triggering’ a response which it is then believed, confuses the system into also reacting to the pathogens in the vaccine, which, even if weakened are not a threat. Mercury and Aluminium, and Mercury is still in the Flu vaccine, are known neurotoxins and Aluminium has been linked to both Autism and Alzheimer’s.

And since Cancerous cells are confused cells one must question what a confused immune system might do.

https://www.hippocraticpost.com/infection-disease/aluminium-and-autism/

https://www.hippocraticpost.com/ageing/autism-aluminium-din-silence/

7. Vaccines contain various chemicals, tested in the singular and deemed to be safe but never tested in combination. Any chemist knows something alone is different to the same thing in combination. Neither do the levels deemed ‘safe’ take into account the common practice of giving four, five, six vaccines in a session, with some parents reporting as many as twelve.

Vaccines also contain residue from animal, bird and human material from aborted foetal cell lines, which, is being introduced to the body in ways impossible in nature and for which no human has ever evolved. Few people would drink it and yet most allow it to be injected.

http://vaccinationdecisions.net/do-you-know-whats-in-a-vaccine/

8.Some humans are more robust than others and 20% of the population are considered to be highly sensitive. One presumes this group is most at risk but, there is no way of knowing which group your child will fall into.

When I had babies in the early Seventies I knew none who had Whooping Cough. One of my siblings had it in the early Fifties but that was it. He was fine. Now Whooping Cough is common in a heavily vaccinated age.

Research into the ‘shedding’ factor of vaccines is also worth doing.

https://www.westonaprice.org/studies-show-that-vaccinated-individuals-spread-disease/

9. For those who do choose to vaccinate some sensible rules are:

1. No vaccines until the child is one year old.
2. Breastfeed where possible. This is even more important now that most mothers have not had these diseases as children and have no immunity protection to pass on.
3. Only single vaccines, no multiples like MMR.
4. No more than one vaccination given in any session and a wait of 3-4 months before giving another.
5. All vaccines are experimental and most are unnecessary, decide which you believe are necessary and ignore the rest.

But, pretty much, take your time, do your research and make a plan. Vaccination is new. There are plenty of us alive today who were not vaccinated in childhood. Some might argue too many. My parents had five children who had all of these minor childhood diseases – I had Mumps on Christmas Day – and a lot of the time never called a doctor. They made house calls then.

For those who seek to frighten you into vaccinating, remind them that in previous generations doctors advised parents when outbreaks occurred to expose their children so they could get the disease, get over it and have lifelong immunity. One even told me that in the early Seventies. now they would be struck off. The question is what is so dangerous about knowing that in generations past these childhood diseases were considered to be minor, indeed, in the view of some doctors, important health milestones for a developing immune system.

In the Fifties and Sixties, people thought kids getting Measles was funny. The Donna Reed Show in 1959 had a skit on Measles and The Brady Bunch did a whole segment, believed to be seriously funny at the time, when all of the kids got Measles. So much for people today thinking it is the Black Death. In the age before vaccines, from the 20th century at least, these diseases were not feared.

Does anyone seriously believe that if Measles were the threat it is said to be today, that it would have been the butt of jokes? I mean, that would be like making a hilarious comedy show about kids getting Brain Cancer today. It would not happen.

No-one disputes these childhood diseases were feared in the 19th century but many things were feared in centuries past which we no longer fear today. Vaccination ‘fear-mongering’ is sourced in a fear which has not been relevant for a century.

And I know kids today who have not been vaccinated and who are healthy, indeed, often healthier than the vaccinated. One thing I have noticed with unvaccinated babies is that they are more alert and they sleep better.

When I had babies we expected them to pretty much sleep through from six weeks and they did. My mother had the same experience. Now I know many parents with kids aged three or more who are still not sleeping through. Yes, they are the vaxxed ones.

In the max-vax age we have levels of serious and chronic disease never seen before. Both Autism and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome were virtually unknown before the vaccination age.

And when someone says, ‘but what about Polio,’ direct them to research Polio Provocation, which was recognised at the time of the Fifties epidemic of severe paralytic Polio, and is reluctantly acknowledged today.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/polio-provocation-the-health-debate-that-refused-to-go-away

In essence, Polio has long been with us and in 92% of cases manifested as mild-Flu-like symptoms. What changed in the Fifties? Links were made between the removal of tonsils and adenoids, common from the early 20th century when antibiotics made surgery safer and doctors realised fortunes could be made whipping out millions of them, on the basis, erroneous as we now know, that they did nothing useful.

Links were also made between vaccination and severe paralytic Polio with paralysis often beginning at the injection site. Warnings were given but largely ignored in a bid to, maintain public faith in vaccines. Pity the poor kids who were sacrificed in that cause.

There have been later links made with pesticides introduced into agriculture in the decade before the Fifties epidemic. Whatever the truth, there is strong evidence that the Fifties Polio epidemic was an anomaly.

More to the point, Polio is still with us, just with a different name and often spread through vaccination.

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/06/28/534403083/mutant-strains-of-polio-vaccine-now-cause-more-paralysis-than-wild-polio

The human body needs a robust and natural immune system to keep us well. We have no way of knowing what so much interference in an immature immune system will do to a human body.

Choosing not to vaccinate is hard. You will agonise more than most every time your child falls ill. If you end up in Emergency because your child is injured you may be harassed because they are not vaccinated and will need to hold your ground.

Most don’t talk about it for fear of being abused by the fearful who truly do believe without vaccines their children would die. Have compassion for these people because they truly are frightened. They believe what they are being told and despite the fact that the vaccinated are supposedly safe, they live in terror of the unvaccinated because of the propaganda they hear.

I am always struck by the irrational nature of this fear since even with 99% vax rates for children, there is probably only 50% really vaccinated. Some 20% do not react to vaccines as intended and are not considered vaccinated; vaccines wear off in 21-10 years and most adults do not get the boosters which are required because vaccines do not immunise.

Even more to the point, unless a nation seals its borders allowing no-one in or out, it is irrelevant if 9% are unvaccinated or 59% are unvaccinated. The world does not have and will never have 99% vax rates.

Vaccination is one of the hotpoints of debate in this day and age and opting to limit or reject vaccination is not for the fainthearted.

But, there are more and more parents who are questioning and opting to limit or reject and I believe those numbers will grow.

It is a journey but a worthwhile one for your child. And whatever decision you reach, know that whatever the outcome, whether you vaccinate or opt to limit or reject, that you will have done your best and acted in what you believed were the best interests of your child.

No parent can do more than that.

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Beyond age

It does not change,
that sense of self,
of me and who I
am, even as the

seasons winnow
harvests of flesh,
ricks of wrinkles,
decorating the

landscape of days.
Eternal is the
feeling of who
I am, always a

presence; firm
foundation of
this being I call
me, beyond age.

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Transformed

What was, is no more,
and yet it holds to
memory and mind,
struggling against the

closing shades, as if
determined to remain
intact, even as the
material evidence is

removed. Do all things
remain forever in their
energetic state? Eternal,
unable to be touched by

the purely physical, for
once created, they can
never be destroyed-
only transformed?

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Dark nights

I
Dreams in tatters,
hopes so deeply
frayed, optimism
languishes; so do
fears parade.

II

Holding to the
fantasies of past,
serves no end;
has no future.

III

Realms of dark
being, on the edge
of sleep, there do
demons dwell.

IV

They haunt me,
hopes in stained
robes, drifting in
translucence.

V
Pain pulls the draw
string on the small,
soft bag of self,
tying me into being.

VI
Culled, cut finer
pruned by life’s
blade, so are we
reformed.

VII
Scattered pieces,
mind in disarray;
soul selects to
re-member.

VIII
Suffering is
the language
of this life-
its babble.

IX

Whisperings
without sub
stance – taunt.

X

Transformation
waits with
empty hands.

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Suffering

Suffering sits silent
in the bed of my own
making, huddled into
soiled covers, turned

in upon itself, holding
tight to the pillow of
grief, dampened with
tears of shame; so

does this withered
child of psyche, sleep
fitfully, in the midst
of life, ignoring hope.

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Broken world

 

And in that moment
when the world broke,
splitting in unseen
ways, as if destiny

had written itself into
invisible cracks, which
eventually, would be
prised open, in silent

tearing, to ensure the
known, scattered itself
in new ways, to allow
fate to mould another

shape, create different
form, not yet imagined
or perhaps dreamed,
and yet lying always

as the seed of some
thing which demanded
to be birthed, brought
forth from the ruins.

So the world smiled
in its brokeness and
promised hope from
the dregs of being,

as golden light ran
through the wounds,
identifying, healing
and offering beauty.

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