Your life, your choice

What matters in life is not what others do but what you do.

To varying degrees we have the free will to decide who and what we will be. If others act unkindly, cruelly or without compassion, courtesy and consideration that is about them, not you. Even if you have been instrumental in triggering those responses in them – it is still about them, not you.

How you act is about you and that is your responsibility. We all make mistakes, we are all at times, instruments of pain for others, mostly unconsciously but perhaps consciously at times and no-one is perfect.

Life is short but it does not have to be brutal. Most of us have a choice as to how we behave and how we react or respond to the pain which comes from others.

People are more damaged than evil and more frightened than cruel and at the end of the day it will not be their behaviour which impacts your life, but your own. And, if there is a world beyond this one and your life to ponder, it will be your life and not the life of someone else which needs to be pondered. It will be your words, actions, thoughts and behaviour which impact how well you have lived your life and not what others have done to you.

One theory of the afterlife is that we experience everything as part of a life review and that means all we have thought, done or felt, but, also how others have felt in relationship with us.

It seems far more just and logical than the religious judgement and damnation we have been taught. And it says that each of us will experience all we have been and that means there is never any need for revenge, satisfaction, apologies or redress, because those who hurt you will feel it all.

So remember to smile, to have compassion, to trust the process, to acknowledge the woundedness of others and yourself and in the words of one of the great mystics, Hildergard of Bingen: All is well and all is well and all manner of things are well.

For ‘this too will pass’ and pain and suffering are as much a matter of perception as reality.

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About rosross

Editor, writer, poet.
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