Mistaking self-obsession for self-awareness…

There is a view that Asperger’s Syndrome is more common in these times. Perhaps the real syndrome is people who are so self-obsessed that they are incapable of taking the feelings of others into account – the me now, my needs, my wants ‘syndrome’ where old-fashioned courtesy, consideration, not to mention kindness goes out of the window.

Good heavens, do something which I don’t find convenient or which does not give me ‘warm fluffies’ or ‘meet my needs,’ or which intrudes on the boundaries I use to control my world? Heavens above, what are you thinking? Perhaps it is only when people who live this way find that their children grow up to treat them this way, they will realise there was and is a reason for ‘old-fashioned’ courtesy, respect and ‘doing the right thing.’

As that song went about a father who was too busy for his son and when he had time for his son, his son had none for him. The most powerful messages a child receives are non-verbal. If you don’t take the feelings of others into account then the child when grown will not. If you are not courteous and kind then your children will not be. If you only do what ‘suits you’ and ‘works for you’ then so will your children. You will reap what you sow so be careful of which seeds you select.

What you give out is what you get back and what you do unto others will be done unto you. What a pity that so many, perhaps particularly in this age, lack self-awareness – or rather, mistake self-obsession and self-focus for self-awareness.

The difference is simple. Self-obsession leaves no room for anyone but Self; self focus leaves little room for anyone but Self and Self-awareness leaves a lot of room for others and their needs and allows the individual to know why they do what they do and say what they say and to take responsibility for everything that happens.

A child when grown may, as adult, go through these times but they will not be the character of the person and they will get to the other side. A child when brought up this way will have its character made by it and is unlikely to become anything other. Perhaps that is an often overlooked demonstration of karma at work.


About rosross

Editor, writer, poet.
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